January: Learning how to be parents and enjoying every minute of it, Tristin's maternity leave ends
February: Jayson’s first hospitalization, first stay in ICU and life flight
March: Jayson stopped breathing, second stay in ICU, second and third hospitalization, Jayson’s NG and NJ feeding tubes placed, home on High Flow Oxygen
April: Jayson’s baby blessing, Jayson’s fourth and fifth hospitalization and first surgery
May: Mike graduated, Jayson starts seizure activity, Many ER visits, Mom’s heart attack and life flight, Jayson off of High Flow Oxygen, My first knee injury
June: My second knee injury, Tessa (sister) goes through the temple, Tristin's work retreat in Park City, Shelby is our new nanny, Tessa’s wedding
August: Tristin AUDII conference, Jayson stopped breathing for second time, Jayson’s sixth stay in the hospital for lots of tests, the bathroom flooded causing damage to bathroom, hallway and garage, Jayson’s seventh stay in the hospital for more tests
September: Tristin starts new part-time position, Yellowstone trip, Jayson's Rockstar {early} Birthday Party
October: Jayson’s FEES study, Jayson's neurosurgeon visit and diagnosis, Jayson’s second and third surgery, Jayson’s eighth and ninth stay in the hospital including Halloween day, Mike's first major work conference
November: My first Thanksgiving cooking, Jayson’s tenth stay in the hospital
December: Jayson stopped breathing for third time, Jayson’s eleventh stay in the hospital, Jayson’s new Chiari Malformation diagnosis, Christmas at home
As I look back over the first year, it becomes easy to identify our trials. With each trial has come bounteous blessings. Here are just some of the blessings and lessons our family has experienced over the past year.
-My job was incredibly flexible with all of the time off I needed in the spring and allowed me to make up my hours over the summer
-Mike had a wonderful experience with his internship, and it developed into a full time job that he absolutely loves
-Jayson developed RSV in the winter and it lead to us discovering his issues. Without this discovery, he likely would have passed away from SIDS
-I learned all about my mother's instinct and the spirit speaking to me,and found my mother's voice as I learned to confront doctors, challenge their opinions, and fight for my son when needed which resulted in saving his life several times
-We have had a wonderful friendship develop with a nurse who has helped us with digesting and understanding many of Jayson's problems and diagnosis. She has babysat Jayson so we could go to Mike's graduation and my sister's temple ceremony. She has offered so much support and many prayers.
-We have learned who our real friends are. Unfortunately, many friends and even family members have disappeared through our trials. This year has helped us realize who really cares and who will be there for us through thick and thin.
-I have made many new friends with special needs moms all over the state and country. They have become my closest friends and my support group.
-I have established a new family and network of support from other moms all over the world who had babies due in December 2011. I talk with these moms every single day. They know more about me, my feelings, and the details of my life than anybody right now. I am so blessed by their friendships.
-Mike and I have grown closer in many ways. Our relationship has changed, big time. There is not as much flirtation, playing, joking, and light heartedness. But we now know we could not get along in this world without one another. We have had to learn to be there for one another when we want to just run away. We have had to think of the other's feelings, when our own feelings make us want to crumble. We have had to hold each other and cry... a lot.
-We have been served by so many. We have learned to ask for and accept help. Soooo many people have offered prayers, thoughts, love, gifts, support, money, meals, visits, and their time to help us out. This has been a big learning experience and a blessing for our family.
-We have shared our story with others, all over the world. Jayson has touched thousands and thousands of lives. I have received many letters, cards, emails, texts, messages and prayers from strangers. But we have been brought together by Jayson. We all love this boy. We have been so blessed by sharing our story with others and hearing how Jayson has touched so many peoples' hearts.
-We have learned gratitude for the simple things in life. The greatest days of this year have been some of the simplest. A walk in the park, a visit from a friend, a phone call from a stranger, a walk through the grocery store. These were great moments that made great days.
-Mike got a full time position, and I got a part-time position so I could take care of Jayson. And my new position is very flexible so I can mostly work from home, and can make up my hours as needed.
-Mike's new job's insurance was the exact same plan Jayson was already on, so the transition was seamless. And Mike's plan started in August, and mine ended in September. It was perfect.
-Jayson was approved for the synagis, the shots to build up his immune system against RSV. If he hadn't had so many hospitalizations, especially in October and November, he would have been denied. He initially was denied, but our appeal went through after another hospitalization.
-Many of Jayson's scary events and hospitalizations have resulted in great blessings. We have found critical diagnosis and specialists. We have learned things about him that would save his life. Nothing EVER was circumstantial.
-Our Heavenly Father and our Savior were with us all the way. We have grown so close with them,and our testimonies have grown substantially.
-We have been placed in positions to help others. During our very first hospitalization in Riverton, we went around and visited all of the other patients and their families and brought them Valentines and toys. I have bonded with roommates we have shared rooms with and their families. They have helped me, and I have been able to help some of them. I've been a shoulder to cry on for some strangers in the cafeteria or in the room next door. I've been able to offer advice, share experiences, and bear testimony that God is watching over us all.
-We have realized what is important in life. Mike and I have both been ambitious people, with lofty career goals and a dream to make a fortune. Our goals and dreams have changed so quickly. My career used to mean everything to me; now I've basically given it up. Mike is living his career dream, but he is still working at Discount Tire to help our family so that maybe I won't have to work one day. My role models have changed, and the person I saw myself becoming is completely different. We have learned that our family is everything. Every moment is important. We don't take that lightly, nor do we take a single day with our boy for granted.
-We have learned to find joy in the moment. We have been in some pretty bad situations. We have spent Valentines Day, St. Patrick's Day, the day after Easter, Cinco de Mayo, my birthday, 4th of July, Halloween, the day after Thanksgiving and Jayson's birthday in the hospital or bound to medical equipment. We could feel bad for ourselves, or we could find joy in the moment. We had a romantic dinner with sparkling cider in our hospital room for Valentines day. We all wore green and took pictures on St. Patrick's day. We wore sombreros and Mexican mustaches on Cinco de Mayo. We took Jayson to parades hooked to an EEG machine, oxygen, a pulse ox, and a feeding tube on the 4th of July. We dressed up on Halloween, and we celebrated Jayson's birthday with Jayson's nurses and doctors. We can honestly make the most of any situation.
-We have learned to not be in control. We are not running our lives. God is in control and He has a plan. We are working to be humble enough to submit to His will. We are so grateful He has allowed us to be Jayson's parents, and we recognize that he has a plan for Jayson, and we are blessed to be a part of it.
-The biggest blessing of 2012 was being allowed to care for Jayson all of 2012. There were days, weeks, and months where we wondered if we would be sitting on our couch New Year's Eve cuddling with our little boy. Honestly, we are so blessed to be together as a family today, tickling our crazy monkey boy and listening to him giggle. We are so blessed to be making plans to play games, watch movies and celebrate New Year's Day. We are so blessed to be at home tonight, instead of in the hospital like many of our friends. The year 2012 has without a doubt been the most difficult, but we have honestly never been more blessed.
We look forward to the lessons and blessings the year 2013 will bring...
